Deep Thought Monologues

1.  You mistake her. What then, When you know you are wrong. What then, When you are smart enough to know you are an ass hole? In this moment you could be trapped forever. There are several responses, none of which you could say are wrong... unless you're too smart to let that be an answer. You could do nothing. You're always doing nothing but you never are. I suppose it is not doing nothing then, but deciding you did nothing wrong. You're smart enough to know you're an ass hole; You're smart enough to say "the world's made up of ass holes, I'm just one of the better ones." Likeable ass holes. Is that all the good ones are? Yes I could say that. Even now I write another lullaby to send myself to a state of self acceptance once again....But there is always that feeling. It's like a crick in your neck, annoying and unrelentingly uncomfortable until you get so used to the feeling that you forget about it. The you wake up in the morning and it's back again, sometimes worse than before. You wake up with it every morning though you start to say "This is me. This pain is part of my experience, mine alone." Do that long enough the pain might go away, but you didn't fix the problem. Without you knowing it could come back one day. If there was somehing that could be done you'd do it, right? Then if anything, acting like there's no problem is the wrong response. Next is the realization. "There must be a change!" Here's where most meet the pitfall. You start asking questions. "How do I even go about this? Does it really matter? Do I really care? Why do I want this? Could it be the feeling was here all along? Was there truely a time before the feeling? The problem is the anticipation, the expectation, the thought that you are going somewhere. You think in these terms and maybe you get over your fears and make some changes. You relieve yourself of some bad habits and give yourself a pat on the back but then you stop. You got there, mission accomplished. Life isn't listening to you though, it just keeps changing. Maybe your new habits work for a while but they were formed for and during a different part of life. See, you are'nt going anywhere. You are always doing nothing though you never are. So you could just give up, knowing that you'll never get anywhere. But the feeling isnt going to go away. What then?..... If all that remains is the change then you must embrace it. Accept the change, the constant change. Expect not to know what to expect. Anticipate the change even when you are where you think you want to be. The key is wanting the turn because you know it's what is true.